Halloween is a week away, and I always seem to forget that I married into a family whose number one holiday is Halloween.
Growing up, Halloween wasn’t a big event for me. I got to trick to treat a few times, especially when I was younger, but my mom made it pretty clear that this was an “American” holiday that I needed to get out of my system pretty quick.
So when this holiday rolls around I’m always a little late to realize it. My kids, however, inherited their Halloween gene from their father. They’ve known what they wanted to be since before the first fall leaf fell into the yard.
My daughter wants to go as a disco girl, after having found the perfect outfit at Goodwill. All she asked for was that and a wig.. Cha ching on the cheapness!
My son and his father are custom making a kaiju much like those found in the movie Pacific Rim. Again my kid is being economically conscious as his costume so far has cost me $5.
Which is good because apparently it costs over hundreds of dollars to look like this guy:
I wish I were kidding at that last statement, but alas I have bank statements of Paypal purchases to confirm this insane notion. This is what my husband plans on going as to compliment the son’s kaiju costume. My husband even dyed his hair, which as my daughter stated is, “barely darker than his old hair.”
Meanwhile he kept asking me what I’m going to be for Halloween.. until after the 100th time I burst into tears.. I can’t even afford to buy clothes I NEED to wear year round.. never mind something that is going to get worn once..
I spent most of my weekend crying and avoiding my husband because I can’t stand to look at him with his dyed hair. For the past few weeks he’d poked at my grays and asked when I’m going to get my hair done and I ask him when he’s going to stop getting speeding tickets so I can afford to…
I didn’t want to, but I did concede to going over to a friends house to carve pumpkins.. Only with two kids and sharp tools I didn’t get the opportunity to sit down and carve one.
So I got shamed on facebook for really not getting into the Halloween spirit…
My daughter, at bed time, became inconsolable about killer clowns.. because you know that’s a thing now.. and how having a pumpkin with a killer clown on it is CLEARLY an invitation to all killer clowns to come visit. The boy from down the road swore he saw a clown stalking the cul de sac a little away from our house, and the police did report there was actually someone in our town walking around 5 minutes from our house. And then the guy down the road put a killer clown on a tractor with a machete has made all the kids on the bus nervous. (he did after a week take it down). The fact that my Mr. dressed up as a killer clown last year and has spent two weeks lamenting how he really wants to dress up as it again to piss off the “clown haters” hasn’t really helped either.
(as if he’d wear the same costume two years in a row.. who is he fooling)
So.. now I have a Disco Girl who is adamantly refusing to trick or treat, is looking for an accomplice to help trash the above pumpkin and wants to burn Mr.’s former costume as a message to all those killer clowns hanging around the block…
And I think she may have found her accomplice…