Do you ever feel like things happen for a reason? You can’t see why the puzzles are fitting together, you just know that they are. You can’t quite see what the puzzles are putting together because there are so many pieces yet to assemble. All that can be done is to just accept that there will be a bigger picture at the end of it all.
Although that kind of in its way explains the philosophy of faith (ie that virtue I was named after haha) I can’t say I trusted in it these past few weeks. I let the despair of my situation get the better of me. For the first time in my life I truly felt defeated. I can’t help but feel a bit grateful of feeling that moment. As low as it was, I have a new understanding of myself. I actually do have a breaking point where my optimism and strength CAN falter. I am faulty and feeling like my whole life is falling apart was a big lesson in humility. I can’t say I didn’t actually need that..
And at the moment where my hope and faith was at its lowest… I figured it out..
I’ve spent my entire life having vague notions of what I want to contribute to this world. (Yeah maybe I didn’t quite become entirely humble.. I still feel I have the power to truly make a difference in this world.) I knew that once I figured it out, I would be great at it. I am pretty awesome if you haven’t noticed yet ;).
The next day, after posting that blog… I got contact from my husband saying he had been extended within the navy to stay in until his higher tenure.. not only will that mean he gets to stay in another year, but he’ll get a severance pay type deal when he does… In essence.. our finanical situation has been relieved… We have time to keep things afloat and cement a better financial foundation than we currently we have…
The timing can’t be a coicidence. I’m taking this as a sign that what I’ve chosen for myself is the right one. Finally I have enough puzzle pieces put together that I can see the bigger picture. Still working on completing it, but once you have fewer and fewer pieces to put into the work it gets easier to assemble.