NaBloPoMo

Shame on you Faithie! Did you completely forget about the National Blog Writing Month? You only posted six times this month. That’s roughly once a week… How could you!

Here’s to next year being more conducive to writing!

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Pinky Promises and Black Friday…

Pinky Promise

I’ve been making every excuse in the book to not spar these days…..

Not that I’ve ever really been consistent with sparring to begin with, but I want to be. Sparring for those not in the know is a controlled form of training where you casually fight a teammate.

The real reason that I don’t want to spar is that by the time sparring rounds go.. I just want to go home. On Fridays we show up to the dojo all bushy eyed and excited to get on with our training at 4:30.. The kids take their class, I sometimes join in for weapons class, then there’s a black belt only class that I never take just because… Afterwards I finally go in for thai class. By the time these are all over both the kids and I are tired and hungry… That out ranks my wanting to spar EVERY time…  :/

My Sensei keeps asking me to stay afterwards and I always find one reason or another to quickly run off the mats and into the comfort of my PJ’s..

But last week.. Last week I couldn’t stay because my mouth guard went MIA..I like my teeth where they are (well I wouldn’t them being slightly corrected a bit but what are the chances a punch to the face would help me out like that?) I told her I know I keep making excuses and I needed to stop doing that…

So I did something that cannot be undone…..

I pinky promised that I would spar this Friday (today)… no excuses..

There is no backing out of a pinky promise..There’s also no sparring without a mouth guard….

Genius me has been completely oblivious to the fact that I would have to go out and buy a new one….

And it’s Black Friday….

Whoops……..

My next post, if I survive, will detail my journey to attempt to get a mouth guard at Walmart during the chaos that is Black Friday….

The Pieces Coming Together

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Do you ever feel like things happen for a reason? You can’t see why the puzzles are fitting together, you just know that they are. You can’t quite see what the puzzles are putting together because there are so many pieces yet to assemble. All that can be done is to just accept that there will be a bigger picture at the end of it all.

Although that kind of in its way explains the philosophy of faith (ie that virtue I was named after haha) I can’t say I trusted in it these past few weeks. I let the despair of my situation get the better of me. For the first time in my life I truly felt defeated. I can’t help but  feel a bit grateful of feeling that moment. As low as it was, I have a new understanding of myself. I actually do have a breaking point where my optimism and strength CAN falter. I am faulty and feeling like my whole life is falling apart was a big lesson in humility. I can’t say I didn’t actually need that..

And at the moment where my hope and faith was at its lowest… I figured it out..

I’ve spent my entire life having vague notions of what I want to contribute to this world. (Yeah maybe I didn’t quite become entirely humble.. I still feel I have the power to truly make a difference in this world.) I knew that once I figured it out, I would be great at it. I am pretty awesome if you haven’t noticed yet ;).

The next day, after posting that blog… I got contact from my husband saying he had been extended within the navy to stay in until his higher tenure.. not only will that mean he gets to stay in another year, but he’ll get a severance pay type deal when he does… In essence.. our finanical situation has been relieved… We have time to keep things afloat and cement a better financial foundation than we currently we have…

The timing can’t be a coicidence. I’m taking this as a sign that what I’ve chosen for myself is the right one. Finally I have enough puzzle pieces put together that I can see the bigger picture. Still working on completing it, but once you have fewer and fewer pieces to put into the work it gets easier to assemble.

Plan of Study….

Here’s Faithie’s definition of Irony….

Finally figuring out my plan of study AND not being able to pursue it..

I had two professors talk to me about doing various certificate programs to compliment my General Studies Associates.

One was my English Lit teacher who is also my advisor for Students Advocating for Gender Equality. She has mentioned it to me the past two times we’ve had to sign up for classes. But Women’s Studies didn’t feel like what I wanted to do career wise, so I was pretty noncommital..

Until….

I went to a speaker broadcast event for National Society of Leadership and Success. The speakers were Nicholas Kristoff and Sheryl Wudunn. They have a book out that I plan on reading called A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity. One they mentioned was just how important love and general affection before the age of 2 was to the development of the brain. According to them feeling loved and well cared for and being hugged and cuddled was a better indicator for success than a child’s IQ.. Without seeing their research I can’t exactly verify how true that is… but it did make me think a bit..

What really stuck with me was at the end. We were invited to go and answer a few follow up discussion questions within a group. Everyone within my group were college friends of mine. All exceot an older gentleman. He had been in my group the last speaker broadcast, so I was already aware that he liked to talk and make all the questions about him. Which is fine to a degree. One of the questions was long the lines of “If you could advocate for only one social/economic change, what would it be”

The man instantly said children, and making sure they were well fed and provided for. Everyone else in my group instantly jumped in agreement and said that was in fact the best thing to advocate for.

When everyone had settled down I said that if I were to choose one specific thing to advocate, it would not be for children’s welfare but for women’s rights. Before I could even say much the man jumped down my throat saying I was wrong and how they had just proven why children were who we should be advocating for.

So I asked, “Primarily, who takes care of children?”

Which was all I pretty much got to say, and I since I was wise enough to know this was the place to debate nor was it worth my effort I won’t bore you with the details. He kept insisting I was wrong but I said this was a right or wrong question. That was my opinion and just stating I am wrong isn’t going to sway my thoughts. If he wanted to debate the subject I would and informed him it was a wrong move to debate me on anything. The others in my group laughed and agreed because they know me 😉 haha I got street cred for my mad debating skillz

It got me thinking. There’s always been this nagging voice in my head that I am meant to change the world. Now we all know that’s an impossible task. But, wouldn’t it be worth it to try? To change at least someone’s world for the better? To fight for those who can’t fight for themselves? If I truly feel, and I still do, that empowering women has the ability to change the world, then Women’s studies is a step in the direction of making that change. I’ve always wanted to do it, but I guess I just needed that moment of clarity to commit.

THEN:

Yesterday I was working on a digital photography assignment and my professor came up to me. We talked about an upcoming project and then he told me that he thought the Graphics and Communications Arts certificate program would be ideal for me. I mentioned that I was leaning towards the Women’s Studie’s certificate. Then he said, why not do both?

Communications was something I was thinking of majoring in once I went to a 4 year college….Working in the tutoring center has cemented that urge so it would make sence to get a certificate in it… Graphic Design sounds fun (and beneficial to my blog)….

So yeah… Why not do both?

Oh yeah because I can’t continue on in college…

Fight!

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So I was randomly wearing this awesome new shirt I bought this week. It had a bunch of really super cool amateur fighters that for some crazy reason had been training for months to step into the ring this weekend. I ran into one fighter the second I walked into the event…

Who is his guy?!

Oh yeah!!! J!

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That dude that I tested with for my black belt!

He may have been behind in weapons and forms.. but this dude kicks ass in sparring..

I wish my phone battery hadn’t of died shortly afterward because there were other teammates I would love to recognize. I had another teammate K who was also fighting. Gosh I love her you have no idea. She is the one I praised here when I expressed the need to have a partner that is patient and willing to take the time to explain things. I’m not gunna lie.. My stomach was in knots at first watching her fight. But she was so Zen…. She was in her element and just dominated the whole event.

J.. well secretly I wanted to see him get beat up a bit, but I also wanted him to win..I got both so all ended well.

Although watching the fights is a little fun in itself, I don’t find amusement in it.. (does that make sense?) My two closest dojo friends are those that love to shout out what the fighters should do.. People REALLY get into fights. Like blood lust kill the opponent type hype. I on the other hand, am silent and nervously rubbing my hands together. I noticed that my Kyoshi was the same way. We both looked pale and miserable lol.I guess for me, this doesn’t seem a moment to celebrate. This is a moment to honor the fighter.. I don’t need to shout commands to them or that they got it.. They’ve been training for weeks.. if they don’t know what they are doing at this point.. little ol Faithie who hasn’t sparred since August is not gunna be the one miracle mouth that figures things out for them. lol.

All in all it was a great event that made me really miss my training. Congrats to those those that won, and to those who had the guts to get in the ring and pesevere!

Welcome November!!!!

Happy First Day of November! Not only is it the first day of November but it also the first official day of NaBloPoMo <~ take a moment to read that out loud. If you’re like me you’ll get a giggle ;).

November is also a month worth noting because it is the last full month left of this semester! I have like 10ish classes left in each course. It feels like this semester just started. How could we already be pass midterms? By December 16 I will be out……. Happy Sad and all that…

I feel like I’ve gone through all the stages of grief when it comes to the end of my college career. Denial, which happened before I posted about it on here. Anger which I did my best to keep internal but that did force some outbursts I can’t say I’m too proud to admit. Bargaining happened when all my friends were setting up all their schedules. I spent some time making this whole situation worse trying to see what my schedule could have been like. Now I am honestly kind of relieved that I won’t have to stress so much about school. I won’t have to study, write papers, or solve problems endlessly. I won’t have to help organize, delegate, or man anything school related. I won’t have to wonder “will this help me get a scholarship?”…. I’ve accepted that I am dropping out. Extraordinary is an exhausting lifestyle to maintain.