The D-Word

My husband is out to sea (shocker right?… it is after all what his job is)… 

We had some issues with family peeps violating OPSEC (my hands are clean… that’s all I’m saying) Someone mentioned the length of how long hubby was going to be gone on facebook and that it was a deployment… 

AGH! Thanks to my working nights and being glued to facebook I caught it and had the person take it down in less than 10 minutes (yes I know… nothing on facebook is ever really gone) 

But you know what REALLY bugged me about it?

The fact the person labeled it as a deployment…..

I am fully aware it is a weird thing to get all bent of out shape about.. but I spent less time explaining how the length of time was not to be disclosed and more time of how it’s not a deployment….

Then my husband’s sister called it a deployment too a few days later… 

Inwardly I wanted to cry. PLEASE DO NOT CALL IT A DEPLOYMENT! 

It caused me to wonder just why is calling it deployment instead of an underway? As the wife, other than a time difference, my role largely stays the same. The only thing I could think of is that deployments sound scary. <~ Which means I am little more than a coward! 

I usually have a deployment flash back period every May. My husband’s first deployments always began in May and I cry about the ordeal my family was put through. (which really…wasn’t that much of an ordeal… but if you haven’t noticed by now that I can be very dramatic sometimes: you’ve been made aware now) I think of missed moments and having to overcome issues on my own and it takes me a few days to rememeber that I’m a bad ass woman who can get through ANYTHING. 

The very idea of my husband being on a deployment causes me to panic. I had a minor panic attack while driving to work thinking of the sub today. Thinking about how subs go down.. but what if something happens and they just sink and don’t come back up?! What if they are never found and they all just die on the bottom of the ocean on either lack of air or starvation. I started thinking of every single poor smuck on that damn sub and how all of them have families like my own.. Then I think of my husband’s good friend on a different sub and if something happened to ANY of the subs in our area it would effect us. 

Ok Faithie take a chill pill…….

I have become one of the model submariner wives.. The cool woman who is as salty as her husband and just rolls with the punches with grace. I am strong and independant have no outwardly signs of weakness. I don’t lament about missing my husband and I don’t put it out there that I can’t sleep without him at home. Being this role model for especially the younger set of women, I’m highly aware that I play a small part in them getting through the day. (haha ok Faithie.. you’re not that important) So I have to stay strong…

But even the strongest of them have moments when they feel they’re going to falter…………

So yeah… please no more forcing my husband to deploy faster than he needs to.. Let’s all pretend that underways are happy vacations for the men and that they are safe and sound and out of harms way… Thanks in advance for never uttering the D-Word again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The D-Word

  1. *hugs* While I’m glad that Hubby’s request for rejoining the Navy or the signing up for the Coast Guard didn’t go through, he’s working 6-7 days a week at the current job and already talking about if the work schedule is still the same next year, that he wants to look for something else. (One of the guys that’s been there forever and a day said that he’s worked 6 days a week for the last FIVE years… *gulp*) I don’t blame him, but I think it would come back to the Navy or the Coast Guard. >.> <.< -.- I'm still/already scared that I wouldn't handle it well. You get all the kudos in the world from me for handling it as well as you do. *hugs*

    We won't get me started on panic attacks. DH has and decided to show me video of a particularly bad storm while they were underway once. The waves seriously look like they're about to capsize the ship. We're safely in the middle of Cornfield Land, Normal, IL, and it still makes me want to hork just thinking about it!!

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