Till Death….

You sure lost in the parent lottery, but glad you are making the best of it. Just keep on pushing forward. I know you will. ~ My Aunt Debbie in a conversation to me today. 

I don’t discuss my childhood often. Mostly beause I have this mentality that it wasn’t really that bad. There’s loads of people who probably had it way worse and I hold onto that like a lifeline when people start talking about when they were a kid. Sometimes, when I’m stupid and decide to go down memory lane………..

I wonder how I turned out being ok…..Seriously.. how did I turn into a fuctional human being?  

My parents hate each other. Like throwing knives and stealing money to make the other suffer kind of hate. One thing they’ve made clear, that their only goal relating to each other is to outlive the other. It’s the ONE thing they actually agree on.. When you mention one to the other.. that’s what they say.. Oh I’m gunna outlive him/her if it’s the last thing I do. 

My mother was hospitalized for congestive heart failure and a flare up of her COPD (which she didn’t even know she had because she hasn’t been to a doctor in 13 years). It’s why I’ve been working so much at the hotel.. because if I don’t work her shifts they’ll hire someone else to do it and she won’t have a job to go back to if she can. Now she’s strapped on oxygen and on top of working I have to take care of her like she’s another child. 

Then on Friday I received a call from my Aunt Debbie about my father. Apparently he has prostate cancer that was diagnosed months ago. But he not only didn’t tell anyone, but he has refused any kind of medical treatment. He is almost literally on his death bed… 

And rather than digest the information about my father dying… I laugh… I seriously laugh that they are at the point of racing each other to death…….. 

 

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4 thoughts on “Till Death….

  1. Hi there,
    I have never heard of two people having such a strong feeling towards each other. It’s quite interesting to say the least. I send lots of warmth and embrace your way during these times. Stay strong,

    -Stace

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