A Peek Into My Past

We’re giving you a free ticket to the period and place of your choice: where do you go? Do you stay where you are, or venture somewhere far away? Do you go all the way back to prehistoric times, or relive a fun moment you just had last year?
I’m not a big fan of time travel…. So Instead I will post my very first blog post ever: 
Wednesday April 30, 2003

         It is the end of the month, and with it another bitter chapter of my life ends.

       A new chapter begins. A journey to hopefully find self respect once again and pride. I’ve let guys manipulate me enough. And all in the name of love..

      Well, love goes hand and hand with honesty and respect. I need to find a love that will see that I am not a toy, but a treasure. Ah, idealistic dreams. Are there such guys in the world?


I feel at times emotionless because of the path of self-respect that I’ve chosen. Then at other times I feel a little remorse. It’s not a deep emotion. Not one that makes me regret the way things have gone, I wish it didn’t have to be this way. But this is what I had to do.

I don’t knnow who he is anymore. He’s changed. And if I didn’t love him I would have left all this crap a long time ago.

But I wanted to believe he wanted to change. I could tell the first week that he was trying. And then she came back and he just started to regress back to his old ways 😦 .

And through it all he lies to me. He lies to everyone, and I’m assuming moreso to himself.

Lies are the filth of this world, and those who are the masters of them are their vermin. They feed off of it and as soon as they consume a little they need it more, until nothing is pure in their world anymore…although this makes me also think of something else other than just lies that taints his world….


7 thoughts on “A Peek Into My Past

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