It is the end of the month, and with it another bitter chapter of my life ends.
A new chapter begins. A journey to hopefully find self respect once again and pride. I’ve let guys manipulate me enough. And all in the name of love..
Well, love goes hand and hand with honesty and respect. I need to find a love that will see that I am not a toy, but a treasure. Ah, idealistic dreams. Are there such guys in the world?
I feel at times emotionless because of the path of self-respect that I’ve chosen. Then at other times I feel a little remorse. It’s not a deep emotion. Not one that makes me regret the way things have gone, I wish it didn’t have to be this way. But this is what I had to do.
I don’t knnow who he is anymore. He’s changed. And if I didn’t love him I would have left all this crap a long time ago.
But I wanted to believe he wanted to change. I could tell the first week that he was trying. And then she came back and he just started to regress back to his old ways 😦 .
And through it all he lies to me. He lies to everyone, and I’m assuming moreso to himself.
Lies are the filth of this world, and those who are the masters of them are their vermin. They feed off of it and as soon as they consume a little they need it more, until nothing is pure in their world anymore…although this makes me also think of something else other than just lies that taints his world….
I looove to throw a good birthday party.
It really engages my creative side.. I really don’t think it costs a whole lot of money to throw a good party when you’re creative about it..
My son it turning 9 soon, and I’m excited for the party possibilities! He broke my heart last year and claimed he was too old for a party. He invited a bunch of kids to the movies. All he wanted was to sit with his friends with no parents around and act like a grown up..
*snfl* where is the fun in that?!
The year before that for his 7th we had a monster birthday party. It fell on Friday the 13th so..yeah. it was pretty fitting!
Is that not one of the coolest cakes you’ve ever seen?!
One of the things I love about my husband’s family is how willing to go “all out” with us… this party was like a second Halloween!
We dimmed the lights and used black lights to light most of the party… Had a coloring station with highlighters that a lot of the girls loved..
This year our theme is:
Oh yeah… I’m talking targets galore…using the manroom in our house as a blacklight training center…. and then painting the adults up as zombies and have them coming out from the woods (weather permitting)
Prepare for some epic posts involving all my ideas 😉
This month my report isn’t as fun as the last one.. Got one piece of floss.. cost me 34 cents…I know I know… sign me up for stash-a-holics anonymous! I’m out of control!
As noted here with my bead loom: I did get gifted some goodies for my birthday. I also got a gift certificate for my birthday… so don’t expect a high amount (if any) for next month.. but that’s good right?
So how am I doing in this challenge?
Total I’ve spent $35.02.
Why does that number depress me so?! I need to spend more I think… Like I’m doing too good of a job of not spending money.
The photo above is a pic I took when we first moved into our house 5 years ago. One of the reasons we chose this house is for the huge yard it provided.. Ok, maybe not huge by some standards, but in our area it’s pretty spacious. Even better: Our yard, other than the driveway, is completely wrapped around by a rock wall. It’s a magical wall, that has been known to keep monsters from entering our yard so little girls can sleep at night without worrying about such things.
Even though the temperatures as of late have been in the 30’s at best, both my kids have been spending their after school hours riding their bikes up and down the driveway. I love the excitement they have for being kids and doing kid things! And now that they are 5 and 8 they are enjoying the freedom of being out there on their own. I can imagine how liberating that must be for them, who constantly have adults micromanaging so much of their days/ choices. This is their safety space…
Yesterday afternoon I was at the bus stop. Our neighbor came over. Oooo hello neighbor how are you today :). She’s a really nice woman, means well, but we have differing parenting styles as seen in my last post here. She’s originally from New York, a big city gal. Living in the suburbs is a big difference I’m sure.
She commented that she saw my daughter by the rocks on the edge of the road as shown in the picture above. I’ve seen my kids climb them. My daughter will occasionally climb up and sit there and watch the cars drive by. The neighbor said Loreli waved to her as she drove off to go to work..
I was thinking “Awww that’s cute”…since my daughter has always been a bit shy.
Well… that was not where my neighbor was going with this shared moment with my daughter.
“I was worried about her.” Was my neighbors next comment.
Well the rocks aren’t cemented down.. they do shift.. She could fall and hurt herself…. which would suck…..
I was wrong again where I thought she was leading the conversation..
“I was concerned because she was outside by herself. Someone could have come up and snatched her.”
I was polite, and responded that my daughter is well instructed in what to do when it comes to personal safety. Before they go out I always ask a questions.. For instance, “If a car slows down near our house, what do you do?” <~ The answer being run into the house to let me know. Which has actually happened a few times, for completely non kidnapping related reasons. They go over safety at karate routinely. My children are very well behaved and have never given me a reason to not trust them being out there on their own. Plus.. I can see them perfectly well from the house…. It’s not like I hop in the shower and tune out their antics.. I know what’s going on…
That led to me being informed on how easy it is for children to be kidnapped… How serious I should be taking this…
So.. What is up with this whole style of “fear parenting” that seems to be the craze? I have no better way of describing it.. I recently read a long thread on a friend’s facebook about some mom that fell asleep at the park and some other mother let her sleep and tended her kid for awhile.. God forbid even gave the child a drink. And all the mothers were in an uproar because the other mother didn’t wake up the mom.. she was a STRANGER taking care of the child.. <~ I’m reading this all by my lonesome thinking “ummmm so we’re not going to talk about the fact the mother fell asleep when she was in a public place with her kid? oook”
Let’s be realistic here.
Most people in this world ARE GOOD…
Some are BAD.
- An estimated 115 children were the victims of “stereotypical” kidnapping. These “stereotypical” kidnappings involved someone the child did not know or was an acquaintance. The child was held overnight, transported 50 miles or more, killed, ransomed or held with the intent to keep the child permanently.
- More than 200,000 children were abducted by family members.
Now, their key facts seriously need updating, as these figures come from 1999. Every website I’ve found for statistics seems to still use these figures.. So I suppose not much has changed when it comes these kind of things…
My point: Instead of teaching children that all strangers are bad. Let’s teach them the critical thinking skills necessary for differentiating between good and bad people.. As shown in the statistics, caution needs to be shown equally with people who aren’t strangers. I feel like labeling all strangers as bad makes children assume that all people they know are good.. and that makes it even easier for people they do know to victimize them..
Quit the fear parenting.. let kids be kids and give them the freedom to be in the world when they’ve shown they can handle it….
This my friends is my new bead loom.
I am proud today!!
I have learned that stringing the loom is like an art itself! You want the threads to be firm yet not tight. In my attempts previously I could usually get the tension that I wanted.. but it fizzles somehow.. like it was getting loosened somewhere and it would sag…
Not any more!! I figured out a way to keep my tension spot on for the entire duration of my project.. and that included little kid fingers plucking it like it was a harp… O.O
What I really like about this new toy/craft/art of mine is that it’s quick! I can make a bracelet or whatever in a night… I was looking through all the beads I’ve acquired as of late and figured I’d make a small bracelet.
You can already see an improvement in my tension vs my last project.. Look out world.. One day I’ll be a pro!!!
I use the base of the loom kind of like a table.. let my beads free roam while I’m working.. I need to figure out a better way to do this, because clean up time is a pain!
This is the final result! I’m in need of finding an awesome way of finishing off the threads… I have an idea on how to clean it up so hopefully my next quick project will be even better!
It’s Spring Break for this college student!!
Let the parties and insane drinking begin! Even better let’s travel somewhere where bikinis can be worn without adding 7 layers!!!
Or…. we could settle for Plan B
Which will now be known as the EXTREME SPRING BREAK CLEANING EXTRAVAGANZA! (the extravaganza misleads me into think I’ll actually enjoy this process…how devious)
I spent yesterday making epic lists.. breaking my days down to the hour so that I stay super productive.. Each day I focus on a specific room(s). I’ve also made a detailed list of what exactly needs done in these rooms…
I’m pumped!!! This house is going to look someone gives a damn!
Yup.. this is what 30 year olds do folks… they get excited for cleaning….
Today is my last day of a monthly trial of Corel’s Draw. I tried it out mostly for designing a logo for the club I’m in.. And it’s been fun using it for other measures. I really like the personal one of a kind touch it has given my blog. As such, I asked my mom for a yearly membership version..
I decided against it and want to try out Adobe’s Lightshop. They have a student discount… and it just so happens I am a student so why not bank on some of that savings? We’ll see, hopefully I like it and it gives me another creative outlet to boost my other creative outlets..
Speaking of other creative outlets..
I told my husband that I wanted to try out beading. It’s something I used to do when I was little..
I’m not talking about making necklaces and whatnot..
I’m talking about going to back to my Cherokee roots and doing the legit bead looming! I’m going to save the juicy awesome photos for another time because my bead looms deserves it’s own special post.
Here’s a sneak peek:
To make up for it I’ll give you a few close ups of my Butterfly Fairy by Joan Elliott:
I really love that Joan Elliott chose the great metallic thread as back stitching for the butterflies.. It makes them almost glisten in the sunlight.. This piece is really eye catching!