That’s It Tooth Fairy… You’re Fired!

I think of all the mythical figures I have to embody….

I suck most as the tooth fairy…

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So far it’s been a pretty easy going gig.. My son, 8 1/2 has only lost 5 teeth…

The first two were easy… one right after the other.. easy in and out..

The third… Ugh.. Well the third happened when my husband was out to sea. Our tooth fairy works on an open market schematic. One day it’s high… the next it’s low… My son had caught onto this..The third had quite a bit to go before it was due to come out. He asked me one day how much the tooth fairy currency was…

I only had a 20, so I said $20. That’s the highest it could ever get…

Twenty minutes later my son RIPPED it out of his mouth. I am shocked and amazed at what people will do for money..

My tooth fairy fails don’t end there…

The fourth one came out during my husband’s deployment. (Yeah.. have you noticed yet that he misses all the FUN stuff lol) I had been invited to go out with some friends… I had meant to do the switch before I left but my son hadn’t fallen asleep! By the time I got home I had forgotten about it…. Woke up to a very sad little boy….

Well…if you don’t know anything about me.. know this.. I am quick on my feet.. so I asked if the tooth was under the pillow.. he admitted it was kind of off to the side… Well.. everyone KNOWS the tooth has to be under the pillow right! So I got him to calm down and told him to keep it under his pillow. He went to the bathroom and I made the switch right then and there..I convinced him to lay back down with me in bed and we snuggled for a bit.. Eventually he checked and saw the switch had been made…

I vowed to never be so careless again….

But there’s a 5th tooth lost and I’m fired so you know there’s another story to be told.

If I landed this tooth with no problems I might have earned the gold medal in the Tooth Fairy Olympics.

My husband had duty.. (SERIOUSLY?!) so yet again this fairy was flying solo.

Things have changed around the hood since the last tooth…

My son now has bunk beds…

And the occasional bunk mate below….

None of this I had thought about until I was sneaking into my son’s room in the middle of the night.

I’m 5’… 3/4ths of an extra inch if that really matters…

My daughter’s step stool was too short to help me get to my son’s pillow so I had to move his computer chair over.. I had enough height….

But there was like a mountain of pillows…. This kid was making sure that tooth stayed under a pillow…

A good five minutes of searching went on when….

My son stirred… So I ducked, hoping he would go back to sleep…

Eventually I just got into the bed with him… he moved when I asked him to and was too asleep to register what was going on.. I found the tooth pocket I had made years ago for him:

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YES!!! I might actually do this thing right!!! I got down to the ground.. and I couldn’t find the tooth in the pocket!!!! So I’m searching the darkness.. when I hear a ping…

OMG did the tooth just fall out of the pocket into the his room?

By this point I learned that my kids could sleep through a tornado..so I grabbed a flashlight and began searching…

No tooth…

What is a tooth fairy to do?

I paid the $ and hoped I could find the tooth before my son does…

It’s been 3 days and so far it’s still MIA…

Toothfairy

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3 thoughts on “That’s It Tooth Fairy… You’re Fired!

  1. LOL. Those little teeth are hard to find in the dark! Somewhere along the way, our “tooth fairy” started folding up her dollars like origami, and now I am stuck googling origami money folds late at night every time the tooth fairy visits.

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