It’s the little things….

My computer came with this flimsy keyboard that is awesome… but flimsy.. I can type something onto my computer from an entire room away…If someone can think of a cool reason to use that function other than to type POOP repeatedly while I’m playing on the computer in the bathroom while Miss is in her bath, I’d love to hear it…. 😉  

The keyboard has a bad habit of being left in unfortunate places…not by me! but my little minions..  Yesterday they left it on the couch and when my son hit the recliner button it flew…. Flimsy and light! The space button, yet again, came off… My husband is a fix it man to the core.. He has fixed the thing on more than one occasion.. I.. I am a smash the button back in place person…. it doesn’t have as much of a success rate…I am now having to overly press on the space button and it’s really ruining my blog mojo… 

This is causing me to have a mini meltdown this morning.. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND TO FIX THIS! Curse you NAVY!!! I have three vehicles in need of repair, a shower head that the cousin broke off, and a boiler that has decided to leak.. 

And it’s a bloody space bar that breaks me….

Doesn’t that just figure….

In times like these it’s where focusing on the LIST is crucial… Summer has been keeping me from really focusing on it… I did get one vehicle fixed….stitching up the wedding sampler has been going along splendidly… 

The list is going to have to wait though  because today we are going to the beach! We are going to build an epic sandcastle with a freaking MOAT. 

 

I have an official 5 year old.

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Where has the time gone that I find myself having a 5 year old daughter. I no longer have preschool children. That is mind blowing..

Well the mister is still out to sea so this was a daddy-less b-day.. Again… Suffice to say the timing of Little Miss’ day has not been convenient for this submarine that my husband in on..

I like to think that the day was still pretty super awesome….

All she wanted for her birthday was princess dresses. That was it..

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She helped her brother and I make her cake.. After all, if you want something done right you do it yourself!

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Practicing for the BIG moment

Then we went to see the movie Despicable Me 2:

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I love this movie.. It was adorable. My kids were laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe in some moments…

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Then we went home and had some cake!!!! Strawberry cake = interesting but not really my choice of cake..

I’m still getting used to WordPress… no sure if it’s going to actually let me load the video of L blowing out her cake..

Then…. because we weren’t finished yet!

We had some late night swimming in the pool:

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It’s hard to tell but we had cracked some glow sticks and let them float in the water… We have no street lights, and the motion light near the garage was our only source of light. It was creepy and cool at the same time…

Then at 10 I forced the children to go to bed.. They insisted they weren’t tired, but they passed out within 5 minutes…  😉 Funny how that works!

Wacky Wednesday folks!!!!!

Caution: This post is going to be so chalk full of awesome your eyes might explode…… 

It has been a week since the Mister left for an underway. Usually the first week is the WORST. It’s when you’re struggling to deal with being partnerless for a period of time and trying to figure out that groove again.. 

Fortunately? I was beyond sick the past 13 days (Gah!) that I was pretty oblivious that the first week had come and gone.. Score one for team Faith!

We had one awesomely jam packed yesterday. 

First of all… We declared it Monster Day:

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The fun was getting to play outside, the marker smearing and spending forever reapplying.. The kids were just about every type of monster yesterday…..

I did a little upkeep in the garden…

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I have really big plans for next year’s garden…. I learned a lot this year!

And if you can believe it: I finished another page in Starry Night!!!!

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Last night we went to the local speedowl place.. As monsters of course:

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The kids had a blast…. 

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My fun was ruined when the youth division had a major accident that resulted in one or two of the kids being rushed to the hospital.. For all the people that gave me dirty looks about my kid’s faces – You support a sport where kids whose voices hadn’t even changed never mind being old enough to have a REAL driver’s licence race at high speeds in cars going way above the speed limit on the highway… Don’t judge.. I really hope those kids are ok and I’ve googled my little heart out and can’t find any information 😦 

The kids had a really good time!! Fortunately my son hasn’t dared to ask to be a driver after that accident 

All in all though.. it was a good day!

 

College bound?

I was so young when I had our first son. I had been swindled out of my college savings. Well…….. not so dramatically.. My gambling addicted father neglected to pay the rent and we needed around $5000 just to stay in our home and pay off other debts that reflected on my mother’s account.. My savings was depleted and then some.. I officially took over the finances and used my pay to make sure that this kind of thing never happened again. I was working 6-7 days a week before I met my husband.. .We agreed that when I got pregnant I should focus on our son and the house. Staying at home, playing the happy role of a mother I never really got growing up was my dream. It’s seriously the only thing I KNEW I wanted to do when I grew up. I’m grateful that my husband was in agreement with me and was in a position to provide that lifestyle… After my daughter was born we purchased a house and it was in our best interest for me to work two days a week just to have a little more extra income.

There was one agreement that we had made back before my son was born that had been almost forgotten. Something that was probably agreed upon on wishful thinking.. but agreed upon just the same.. I said when our kids were in school full time that I wanted to go back to school myself. Even just a little community college to give me a taste of the college life I had came close to achieving…

When I found out that Kindergarten for my youngest was full day, I was blindsided with the reality that I could start school again. It was just a thought, something I kind of wanted but didn’t even know where to start…

Then I read Three Feet from Gold . It inspired me like no other book ever has. I knew that fear was no excuse to give up on this agreement I had made to better myself, even if I had only halfheartedly wanted it back then. My children are older, it’s time to start taking more time to think about myself.

I dared to enroll online.. I dared to follow through with gathering what I needed and providing information..

Going to my orientation scared out of my wits. I completely went out of my comfort zone. Even my comfort driving zone. At the orientation I wondered if this is even something I want, or something I think I want? It doesn’t hurt to try right?

Got financial aid, signed up for classes. <~ It’s way too far to be going back now right? Or I’m 29 now, is it way too far to be entertaining this grand notion that I have the time and energy for such an overwhelming commitment when I’m already swamped to begin with.

I’ve been having issues with my financial aid being applied to my account. I signed up for classes back in April. Had financial aid a week before I signed up for the classes. Financial aid tells me not to worry, my classes will be paid for.. So what do I do? I don’t worry.. until I get an email mid June from the school saying I need to pay for the classes or they’ll drop them..

Now it’s time to panic.. It wasn’t easy to find classes that worked with my already insane schedule.. that allowed me to be at the bus with the kids and be home to pick them up…. to still take Thai twice in the morning…This schedule is pretty make or break at this point…

I emailed the advisor who told me that after some digging she did see that my classes would be paid for with my financial aid and not to worry.. But.. I was told that before! Shame on me for believing it the first time.. I emailed financial aid and explained the situation to them and they claimed that because I hadn’t declared a major that’s why the financial aid wasn’t showing up on my student page. What kind of bull crap is that?! Whatever… oh except it does say I did claim a major ….

Today I just got something in the mail saying if I don’t pay by July 30th they’re going to drop my classes.. WTF!!!

At first I was so frustrated, but now?.. I’m wondering if this is a sign that this is all a waste of my time.. How many hiccups does one have to endure before you think fate is telling you that you are on the wrong path?!

Or are these obstacles in my way only going to make me stronger and test my indomitable spirit?

I think I need to read Three Feet from Gold again to boost myself up……

From Buoyed Up: My ONE SUBMARINER’S WIFE GUIDE TO SURVIVING AN UNDERWAY

I did my first blog post for the site Buoyed Up. Very exciting! I thought I’d post it on here as well 🙂

 

ONE SUBMARINER’S WIFE GUIDE TO SURVIVING AN UNDERWAY

Well we can reschedule, post pone and delay no longer…

We are heading towards our first underway prior to my husband returning from deployment. They had a really lucky stretch of being at home <~hahahaha I kid the poor men have been stressed out of their minds trying to get things together.

I was asked recently: “How does one survive an underway?”

So here is Faithie’s guide to surviving underways:

First. I am up front with the kids. I let them know when he’s leaving and for how long. I have been blessed with some amazingly well adjusted kids. They have learned from day one that life will go on without daddy just fine..

We have special events that happen when my husband is gone. One is that I allow the kids to “sleepover” in my bed on the weekends. It’s a pain in the butt for myself, I like my space when I sleep.. but it gives the kids something to look forward to throughout the week.

I make crucial effort to make sure that other than that, our schedule remains the same. Karate will not be missed! Chores will be kept up and homework completed. Mandatory reading/writing time at 7pm.

For myself:

I make the worlds most ridiculous list that is inhumanly possible to complete…

Here’s a brief look at what’s on my list:

Number 1. Which I have been itching to do ever since my husband came home from deployment. Yes I COULD have done it any time with my husband being home, but where’s the fun in that?

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When we first moved in, this wallpaper was really pretty…. but with kids being kids they’ve torn it in a few places.. Suffice to say it’s time for the wallpaper to go and a nice fresh coat of paint to replace it.. My kids will be helping with this project since they apparently like taking it down… ;)

Number 2:

Master the new fancy looking lawn mower my husband purchased a month ago..

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Apparently this puppy cuts our lawn mowing time from 6 hours with a push mower to an 1 1/2. That actually bums me out a bit because during deployment some of my most peaceful moments were with my headphones on blasting Maroon 5 and communing with my yard. I will learn to at least master this big guy even if I choose to mow the old school way.. I think I have to endure drinking a beer while doing it though..Pretty sure drinking a beer while mowing the lawn is in the manual..

Number 3:

Learn, and perform, the lyrics to Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore. Don’t judge… I might even post it on here ;)

Number 4:

Finish this beautiful Poppy Cross Stitch..Maybe even be so bold as to frame it and give it to the intended recipient.

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Number 5 is another stitchy related goal. One of my best friends Holly got married a YEAR AGO almost..  I’ve completely pushed this project off to complete the Kauai Sunset. Now it’s time to bring this one to life.. A snippet:

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Number 6: Run no less than 30 miles on the treadmill.

Number 7: Get Car #1′s breaks fixed.. Plus all the routine TLC.. oh and don’t forget to get the CV joints checked out <~ hubby reminded me only a thousand times!

Number8: Bring  hellspawn car to the dealership to get its breaks done as well…

Number 9: Hand make little girl’s b-day invitations.

It’s an ever growing list..

~~~ Now all of this is well and good for normal time periods. When the days have no real significance… What about birthdays/holidays/anniversaries?

We’ve adopted this philosophy: There are days the calender says are special moments.. and there are days the heart says those days should be on. And our hearts say that most holidays need to be celebrated with daddy in attendance. This is kind of fun because this usually means you get to celebrate the said holiday TWICE. And I hear that’s twice as nice.. har har

On my husband’s last deployment he missed all those fall/winter holidays.. and then the extension made him miss some more… It was harder on him I am willing to bet than it was on us. We had each other to get through this time. He had only a tube full of really disgruntled sailors.  The fix: One big epic combination of those holidays.. Pick the best of each one and you’re got a really fun day in the works!

Birthdays usually get a different work up. I go over the top crazy on birthdays for the kids..I labored for hours to bring them into this world, so if I want to go crazy that’s my right.. I’m talking lots of presents and biiiig birthday parties with handmade invitations/gift bags.. the works!

My husband will give the child a few early gifts.. which undoubtedly makes the other jealous because daddy didn’t miss theirs and they didn’t any gifts early lol. Then we’ll do something small and special on their actual birthday. We’ll have a party when my husband gets home even if it’s a month after their birthday.. Unfortunately this plan didn’t quite work out last year for my youngest daughter. Hubby did end up missing her party and everything.. :/ My plan isn’t completely full proof…

..Now.. as if this isn’t long enough…

Here’s what NOT TO DO:

Act like your life ended because your significant other isn’t by your side. The most valuable gift that underways/deployments can give you is the self empowering knowledge that YOU ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. You have more strength in you than you realize even on the days you think you don’t. If you need to cry, cry! There’s no shame in expression your feelings.. Just don’t let it own you for the duration he’s gone..

Go on insane shopping sprees. As much as the immediate comfort may hit the spot… it’s temporary.. And no sailor likes to come home after being gone for an extended period of time to no money but lots of new shoes.. That doesn’t mean don’t splurge and get yourself something special.. just find other ways to find that moment of gratification.

Spend the time breaking the wives down. This is a new thing I’m seeing as of late.. I’m seeing a lot of cliques forming and then spending their time bullying other wives for the duration the boat is gone, and then acting like angels when the boat comes back.. I know for the  majority of us, that underways have a this huge vibe of negativity. We should use this time to lift each other up, not make ourselves feel temporarily superior to feel better…

Spend the time with someone else in your bed… <~ It happens too often… Not cool

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I’d like to say with each passing underway or deployment that it gets easier.. Unfortunately, for most it does not… We get better about coping and adjusting with the situation. Any feedback on how you endure these time periods would be greatly appreciated!

A little experiment

Awhile back, probably before I stopped watching cable. There was a commercial about this soon to be mom with twins. She was going shopping as newly moms apparently love to do (was never one to like baby shopping)… Her card that she used had this feature that rounded up her bill to an even number.. and the change from the purchase would be put into her savings…

Hmmmmm

I like to do experiments here and there..

So I decided to switch over the change in our accounts to one savings account to see how much I can save in a month. In two days alone I’ve already saved $2.72. <~ Doesn’t seem like a lot does it… but! That $2.72 averages out to $1.36 a day… Which would be $40.80 a on a 30 day month.. $489.60 a year… It’s small squirrel type things like this which make me have any savings at all…

As I get more into this experiment I might even round up every purchase rather than just do it by balance each morning.. Maybe that will be month 2’s experiment

I’ll be rich in no time!!!!!

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Money - Black and White Money
Money – Black and White Money (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Money has always been on my mind.. My mom was horrible with finances (still is atually). My father would give her half of his paycheck every month but he did have a gambling addicton. If she didn’t take it out of his account within a week it was usually gone..I can remember that happening quite often.. The tears my mom would shed because she worked full time as a bartender and honestly needed me as a child to force her out the door to get to the bank..

At 16 I got a job at a jewelry store and used my income to help support the house. By 18 I had taken over the household finances completely and that included the finances of my friend who moved in with us.

I am no means a great budget money person AT ALL.. but I seem to be better than those around me…

My husband had his first glimpse at our budget when I bared it all to his cousin who recently moved in with us. I used our own budget as a template to show her how we get by. My husband used to be very horrible at financing.. He would spend his paycheck the second he got it.. Before we got married, he put me on his account so I could take what I needed to pay his side of the bills. He was shocked to see how much money he makes and how much gets eaten away by bills. How much we spend grocery shopping and in gas. It was a sobering moment for both him and his cousin. Since then, when I tell him we can’t afford something, he seems to be less petulant about it…

As of today I still carry my mother’s bills.. Other than her car payment, I am responsible for everything else.. cell phone, car insurance, rent… She gives me a certain monetary amount and I get to keep what’s left over as “rent”. My husband gets a certain monetary allotmet and I work my magic with the rest.

He has no idea how much we have in savings because we both agree it would make him want to spend it. We have a little bit of money set aside for the kids that I’ve been squirreling some money into.

We refinanced our house a month ago which will save us almost $600 a month..We had agreed that when I start school it’s in my best interest to stop working twice a week. I’ll be in school three days a week. I’ll have my martial arts commitments. My son will be in football and with my husband’s schedule I’ll very much be doing it all alone…

I dunno.. Working twice a week I make roughly $600 a month.. so budget wise things will even out.. I just dunno.. Things happen..Isn’t the goal as you get older to be saving more money.. and to stop just gettng by?..Then I flip flop and realize I am responsible for a lot.. and if things have to be a bit tighter so I can really have time to focus on my schooling then everyone needs to just deal.

Still on the fence I guess…

In the meantime, I’m going to squirrel as much money away as I can if I do decide to stop working while in school…..

Dear Support Group.. it’s you not me..

My husband has been attached to his current sub for a little over a year. In that time, the majority of the drama I have dealt with from day to day, has arisen from the support group.

When I first married my husband I was welcomed to that sub’s support group with open arms. It was like joining a wonderful sisterhood of women whose mission was to lift you up and keep you strong when you wanted to crumble..

So after a four year hiatus of shore leave I was excited to rejoin a support group that knew exactly what I was going through without having to explain it. Ah the bonds I’d form.. the fun we’d share….

I’m not going into the hard aches I endured this deployment by people who just are miserable and need to make others so. I stuck around so long because there was a lot of people who simply asked me to. I made an effort to introduce myself to everyone, especially the quiet people in the corners who just couldn’t quite find a way to integrate “into the group”. I had numerous people tell me that they had been there for so and so months, or even a year or more and I was the FIRST person to ever go up and introduce themselves..

O.O How sad is that….It makes me wonder what my own life as a Navy Wife would have been like if I hadn’t had such a loving and wonderful support group to back me up.

I made it my mission to fix the support group..

I lost 😦 And lost hard.

When the sub came back the support group’s board was wiped clean… New faces and supposed to be heading in a new direction..

Our new President is just about the sweetest person you’d ever met. And she gives me a vibe of my very first President that raised my spirits. I alerted some wives that had given up the support group that hope was alive and we should all rally behind this new woman and give her our support..

Her very first meeting.. she made me proud. And the people I had told to come did and had the same feeling of hope and joy that perhaps the dark days were over and we could rebuild this support group in what it is supposed to be…

Then…

Well then we voted in the rest of the board who ran unopposed..Every single one of them are wives fresh to the boat. I honestly thought that was a good choice because they don’t bear the scars of the deployment. They weren’t “broken” and I knew their hope would rekindle the group..

The VP asked to be my friend on facebook.. Cool

I have this new facebook rule since deployment.. I am a positive force in the world, and I choose to only keep positive people in my life.. family and whatnot excluded.. you can’t just unfriend them without causing unnecessary drama. So if you’re new to my facebook entourage I gave you a month to acclimate. If you are an attention seeking drama fiend then I boot you after that month.. No guilt about it either. Especially when it comes to women associated with the hubby’s sub…

VP was just a week away from getting booted…

I have this really huge 18 inch tablet/computer (It’s awesome). This weekend I had the habit of leaving it on the coffee table and letting facebook stream.. I read one comment of hers and I admit.. I hissed a little.. VP had called out her husband claiming he was being lazy and forcing her to finish a job they apparently were supposed to be doing together.. Someone had already commented on it saying she shouldn’t bash her husband. She replied saying she had a few drinks and was angry.. but like she has said on numerous posts she just tells it like it is… and her husband knows this blah de blah.. My hiss made the hubby look over.. and he asked what her problem is.. I was like I dunno she’s just a dramatic person.. Then I did proceeded to show him the rest of her facebook where it’s all day every day anger..

My husband said he was surprised because the husband was so chill. He said he was going to ask why she was bashing him on facebook the next day.. I told him not to do that.. To just let it go…

But did he listen?

Obviously not, because the next evening, on the day our husband’s shared duty together, I see an angry post directed to me. She didn’t name me, and if my husband hadn’t of told me he was going to say something to her husband, I never would have thought it was for me. So I read as this woman who claimed that she’s a tell it like it is and not afraid to tell people to their face, continued to bash not only myself but my marriage..

And all I could do is laugh…

Angry people like that.. only have anger as a weapon. She hides behind facebook and thinks she’s big and bad. She had also deleted her drunken rant and had acted like she had never even posted it..

My first reaction was to try to diffuse the situation.. message her about the situation.. But I didn’t even know if was my husband had said anything.. so I let it go..

After all.. I didn’t even really do anything.. I think? Is showing my husband on a public networking site something to feel bad about?

The next morning she had unfriended me.. well that’s a pretty good confirmation.. Went about my day just fine..  I learned a long time ago to not hold onto the drama of other people.

Can you imagine how much energy we expend on negative people in our lives? And how little that they expend creating the drama? I realized this after reading “Think and Grow Rich” by Greig Reid and Sharon Lechter. That book deserves it’s own post shout out..

I did conclude, that if she is going to be in a leadership role in this support group, it’s not going to be long before more drama comes my way.

It’s time to call this group a loss, and like so many before me, let it go. For good. I am starting college at the end of August, and will soon be cycling for my black belt. On top of being a mother and wife and very maybe still working at the hotel, I have to be very careful to direct my energy to where it matters.. And where it will be most received.

So, sorry support group.. but it’s truly over and for good this time.