One out of every two…

My husband and I have been very dear friends with another couple for longer than we’ve been together ourselves. My husband and the male friend were stationed on the same sub. Fresh NUBS bonded together stronger than marriage it feels lol. The woman and I kind of knew each other through her family. We had passed each other often but never were really introduced until the day I met my husband. 

We started dating our respective counterparts at the same time..Lived a few doors down from each other before each of us married and had kids. Deployments shared made the wife and I to the kin of sisters. We “adopted in” so to speak two other families, one who the Navy took away. The other we’re still close with.  

Once we left the sub, career wise the men went different ways. Us women stayed strong, making sure to see each other as often as we could. Our children have been growing up together. And for 8 years from the start of the oldest’ life that’s rare in the military community. 

It’s been a blessing having these women in my life. They are the only two I can really express with when it comes to my life. They’ve been there supporting me and living most of the hardships with me. 

My friend’s husband has been living overseas for five some years. She’s been living here.. Five years is a good chunk of time. They’ve decided to separate. I feel caught in the middle of a tornado, talking to the one overseas and the one here and doing my best to play Switzerland. The husband is back in town for a bit. My husband has been spending some time with him. The husband really needs it because despite what my friend says.. the decision to separate is not mutual. She’s asked me talk to him, to make sure he’s taken care of because she can’t. Ack..That’s a lot of responsibility..

Then, selfishly, I get really worried about how this will effect our group… Can we all still be the unit we were. At least for the kids sake? Can we still invite both to events? I feel my friend already pulling away. So what, in the division he gets us just because the hubbies are best friends? That’s bull! 

On another selfish note. It has put a new perspective on my relationship with my husband. We are by no means a golden couple. If you caught my rant awhile back you’d see we have our fair share of issues. We’re not ready to throw in the towel yet, and in fact my husband has been make efforts daily to work on these issues. I keep wondering what circumstances lead each couple to have different results. Why did we work out when they didn’t? I could go further in detail on why I feel that is, but I already feel guilty about putting enough of their business on the internet. 

I want to make things better but it’s not like I am in any position to do so.. This is the first marriage that mine has outlived.. We all know it happens..Doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow 


3 thoughts on “One out of every two…

  1. Five years is a long time. 😦 I hope you all are able to find a balance that makes it so that you don’t lose them.

  2. This always makes me sad, the tug of war that occurs between friends when a couple breaks up. I am a firm believer in exes being cordial to one another, and if people could manage to be mature it could be easy for the friend groups to remain intact. Sure, it’d be awkward at first, but only at first. But it seems rare that people are able to remain amicable after a breakup that way.

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